#13 September, please be good.

Am I changing unknowingly or am I still the same me?

I can't figure that out anymore.

Sort of a fun day today..?

Had to walk outside school for so long, very tiring.

Saw a lot of bees..

But it's good that I'm outside of the school.

Looking up at the sky lets me relax and think about many things.

Sometimes, I wonder, is the world changing or am I the one who is changing?

I wonder if the class is making me stressful or is it that I still can't adapt to the class?

Maybe its me who is giving myself too much stress..?

Because I'm afraid to score the last in class and drop to Normal Academic class next year.

I try soooo hard to be cheerful around my friends.

Because I know, if I have a "black" face, my friends see alr will also sort of pekchek.

And so, I do try. To be cheerful.

But my efforts still seem to be not enough.

Sometimes, I try to smile although I really feel like crying..

Most of the time, I tend to view things from my own perspective, and I don't view from other angles.

I don't know why I tend to speak things that are not truly what I wanted to say. Just like 口是心非。

我也不知为何，我就是口是心非。害怕说出我想说的话，担心说了会发生莫些事。。

我知道很多人认为我只会为自己着想，而不会为别人着想。我承认，我以前的确是这样。但是，现在你也不知我到底有没有改。我也不需要你来了解我。

就算你看着我的时候我在笑，你有真正地了解我到地是真心地笑吗？

我知道你们没有真正地把我当成你们的朋友，而是我自己在逃避，不敢面对现实。

不管多么了解我的人也没有看过真正的我。

我好想念小时候的我。要笑就笑，想哭就哭，不用像现在，为了面子，不能向朋友哭诉。

小时候的我，不开心的时候，就大声地哭。因为我知道我的朋友会留在我的旁边。

可是现在呢？

我的朋友很多都是双面人，我觉得好恐怖。不知谁真谁假，不知我到底可以和谁诉苦。。

我常常压抑我的感受，常常在大家的面前笑。因为我担心如果我没那样做，随时都会哭。

现在我已经无法找会小时候单纯的我。

我也很讨厌别人在学校里谈我的博客，既然会写在博客也不说出来已代表我不想说了。

我真的很想安静下来，不想一直说话了，可是我又担心如果我不和朋友聊天，

我们会渐渐地把我们之间的距离拉开。

我真的很不喜欢现在的我，现在的生活，我真的很想会到小时候的我。

日子过得很单纯，很开心，不像现在。

虽然我不表示我的喜怒哀乐，不代表我是个没有感情的人。只是我不知如何表达，我也不想要表

达。

虽然我不知你到底有没有把我当成你的朋友过，我也不想知道。我只想让你知道不管你信不信，

我真的有把你当成我的朋友。

希望九月会过得好。。

难得用华文，你们不用管我。(: